Saviour
by Epotter95
Summary: Lily needs someone now more than ever, and she finds herself going to James' door at 2 in the morning.


Yes I know I have another story to write, but I've been writing this one and decided to finish it. I am also working on the other one, but I seem to have hit a bit of a writers block on it. I apologize and I promise to update soon!  
I only own the story line, everything else to the fabulous J.K Rowling!

And enjoy!

**Saviour**

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I couldn't stop tossing and turning, every time I closed my eyes I saw things I never wanted to see again in my life. I haven't slept in days, or at least have a proper sleep in a very long time. I'm either crying myself to sleep, trying to keep quiet so James couldn't hear me. Or I just can't sleep at all from the nightmares and flashbacks.

I got out of bed, wanting to go down the common room, not bothering to change from my tank top and knickers. Instead I found that my legs brought me to James' room, I knocked quietly before entering. I saw his sleeping face, the light coming from the moon outside, I made my way over to his bed without making a sound.

"James?" I shook his shoulder a bit; he let out a grunt and flipped onto his back.

Taking this as he knew I was there, I sat on the bed next to him, "James?"

With a start he woke up, eyes opening so wide I could see every little fleck of colour even though it was dark.

"Lily? Wha- what are you doing?" James sputtered. He looked down at what I was wearing, then to what he was wearing; boxers.

I couldn't help but blush, hopefully he didn't see in the dark. "I'm sorry, I-I thought you were awake. I'll go-"

"No don't go," He sat up and leaned over to turn the bed side lamp on, "Lily, what's wrong?" His voice was full of concern when he looked at me in the light. My hair was probably a mess, and my eyes probably red from crying.

But before I could tell him what had me up every night, I collapsed into his arms and started crying again. Just the thought of what happened to me hurt so much.

"Oh Lily," James wrapped his arms around me, already knowing what was wrong. "It's going to be okay, I got you. I won't let anything happen to you ever again."

"James, I can't handle it." I mumbled into his chest.

"You're strong Lils, hey look at me." He put a finger under my chin and got me to look him in the eyes. "Lily, you're going to get through it. I know it, and I know you. It'll get better." He gave me a small smile and tucked some of my hair behind my ear.

"Thank you James, I don't know what I'd do without you," I put my head on his shoulder and my arms around him. "You're my best friend; you're always there when no one else is."

"I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You know that," I could hear James' heart beating and feel his chest go up and down.

I suddenly felt so tired, that I could sleep for days. "James?"

"Yes?" I felt him turn his head to look at me.

"Would it be okay if I stayed with you tonight? I might actually get some sleep," I could feel my face heat up from the blush that crept onto my cheeks.

"Of course Lil," He lifted my face up again and smiled. He let me go and turned the lamp off, then flipped onto his back. He lifted his arm and made a motion for me to come lay there.

I slid under the covers and put my head on the space between his shoulder and neck. He brought his arm around me, like he's protecting me from all things bad. For the first time in a long time when I closed my eyes I didn't see the faces of the men that tortured me, I didn't feel the need to open my eyes to see if they would get me again.

"Thank you James," I wrapped my arms around him, linking my legs with his. Getting as close as I could, he made me feel so safe.

"You're welcome Lil." James answered.

Closing my eyes again I fell asleep right away.

LJLJLJLJLJ

Sun shone through his window, making me wake up from a peaceful sleep. I opened my eyes and saw James' sleeping face in front of my own.

"James," I said trying to wake him, I shook his shoulder a bit.

He mumbled something about still wanting to sleep and pulled me on top of him.

"James! It's time to get up," I started to wiggle to get free of his hold but that just made him hold on tighter.

"Mmm, Lily," James murmured into my shoulder.

"James!" I yelled, hoping that would get him up.

His eyes opened immediately, looking up at me and he quickly apologized when he realized he pulled me on top of him.

"James its fine, you were asleep." I said.

"Okay, how did you sleep last night?" He asked sitting up.

"Really good, I haven't slept so well in... well since I got back." I was found a few weeks ago by James and Dumbledore in the middle of nowhere. I was kidnapped when I was patrolling alone, and when I woke up I was naked and tied down. For a month, that's what I was told, I was tortured and raped. No one really knows what happened, just knew that it wasn't anything good. Even though James was the one who actually found me and got me loose, he didn't know exactly what they did. But he probably had a pretty good idea.

"Have you talked to anyone about it?" James asked me, knowing that's what I was supposed to do when I got back to help me get better.

"No," I said looking away. I could barely think about it.

"Why?" He turned his body towards me. His prying didn't bother me anymore; I knew he was asking because he cared.

I looked up at him, and opened up. "I don't like seeming vulnerable, I hate knowing what happened to me. I was so weak, I am weak. Knowing I couldn't do anything about it, I can't let anyone in. No one knows that I'm still suffering, besides you." I felt a lump in my throat form; I would not allow myself to cry, not now.

"Why don't you tell me?" He looked nervous, but kept looking me in the eyes.

I looked at him, at how much he has changed. From being an ignorant prat and bully to someone who helped the victims of bullies, being a mature leader. We changed from arguing about everything and nothing, to turning to each other when we need someone. I looked at a man who changed so much I can honestly say, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him.

I took a deep breath and let it all out, "You were gone for the full moon, like you usually were to help with Remus. I was doing my usual rounds and was just about finished when I heard something. It sounded like people messing around in a classroom or closet. So I went to tell them to go off to bed, and give them the usual warning."

He was about to interrupt and apologize for not being there, blaming himself again. I held up my hand, "When I turned the corner I couldn't move, then I blacked out. I woke up in a dark, damp, and cold room and saw that my clothes were missing." I paused, the lump forming once again. "I looked around; there was only one small window that showed darkness. I could make out a single door on the far side of the room, there was nothing else. I was strapped to a big table type thing."

James took my hands and squeezed them, urging me to keep going. "I started to panic; I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I stayed awake, there was no way I could have fallen asleep. As the room started getting brighter, someone came in. They left quickly, realizing I was awake. When the door opened again, Voldemort and 4 death eaters came in. Voldemort seemed to not care about my state of no clothing, but the others..." I shook my head, remembering the eyes going over my body.

"They noticed. Voldemort said something about how he's going to break me, break me so much that I'll accept to join him. He turned to one of them and whispered something into his ear. He came over and reached for something behind my head. It ended up being a knife." I took a deep breath, knowing what was going to happen next.

"You can do it Lily," James said encouraging me, squeezing my hands again.

"He explained what he was going to do, Voldemort and the others left, leaving him to cut me open. He would cut small at first, and would get bigger. That was his way, and then heals me right after as to make sure there would be no scares. They all did, and it wasn't until around the 10th day- I tried keeping track, it seemed like the 10th day to me- when I didn't crack from being tortured... He allowed them to start, touching me... and eventually I was raped." I felt a tear escape and make its way down my cheek.

James brought his hand up and wiped it away. I closed my eyes with James' hand still holding my face.

"I was violated in every possible way because Voldemort wanted me on his side. I wasn't going to, not even when you found me, "I opened my eyes, looking into his hazel ones, "I thought I was dreaming, I actually dreamed about you a lot actually. You were always the one saving me from that nightmare, and one night it actually came true."

"Is that all?" James asked, always being there.

"Yes, everything after that was repetitive, rape, torture, talk, sleep. And again the next day," The lump in my throat was just too much to bear and I choked out a sob.

James quickly brought me to him and held me close while I tried to calm myself. It did feel a bit better to get it out, and with James holding me to his bare chest, I felt better than I have in a long time. He's the one friend who was always there, even when I was a complete bitch or a total mess.

I could feel James stroking my back through my thin tank top, and his soft kisses he would place on the top of my head. It was then I realized that I loved him, I always have. And I knew he loved me, not because he's been asking me out since 3rd year, or that he has said he loved me since 5th year. But because of how he treats me, touches me, cares about me. And a bit off note, he is only wearing boxers where I'm wearing nothing but knickers and a small tank top, I mean he's here taking care of me and not taking advantage of me.

James, noticing how I had calmed down, pulled me away from him so he could look at me. But I didn't want to be away from him, not any more. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his; I felt him freeze and felt myself start to panic. But soon enough he reacted and brought me close, kissing me back with his hands in my hair. I wrapped my arms around his neck bringing us closer before pulling away, out of the kiss.

"What was that for?" A flushed James asked.

"For being you," I said giving him a small smile.

"Being, me?"

"Yes, for being my everything. I go to you when I'm scared, upset, angry, happy, excited, anything and everything. James you have turned into my best friend this year, and I've fallen for you." I looked down at my hands as I said that last part. I couldn't look into his eyes for fear of rejection.

James put his finger under my chin to lift my head, but before I could fully meet his eyes he brought his lips to mine in urgency. He pushed me back against the mattress and kissed me so hard I felt my stomach give into the butterflies, and my heart beat sped up it felt like it would pop right out of my chest.

Slowly he pulled back, putting his forehead to mine breathing in deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, it's just I've been waiting to hear those words for forever."

"Which words?" I asked, teasing him.

"That you've fallen for me," I could hear the happiness in his words.

"Wouldn't you much rather hear me say I love you? Because James, I am so madly in love with you, and I can't believe it took me this long to realize it."

"Yes I think I would," James said before taking my lips with his for another fiery kiss.

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Bit of a long one-shot, but I didn't feel that splitting it up into chapters would work for it.  
I hope you liked it, and if so pretty please review? Even if you didn't, please review and tell me why and what I can work on!  
Thanks :)

EPotter95


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